Square Peg, Round Hole

How many of you are familiar with those old baby toys that have shapes and whatnot all over them and you have to put the shapes in through the right spot?  I'll bet you are.  In fact, I have learned in the last year (has it been a year already, you ask?  YES, it has!) that most baby toys are essentially some variation on that basic concept.  You've got a shapely peg and a shapely hole, and they must match up or else you won't get the result you desire.  The idea is to teach babies shapes and, to some degree I'm sure, spatial reasoning. 
Well I was hanging out with Avery and Ryleigh about two months ago.  Avery, the cool little kid he is, was playing with one of those little shape toys.  This one was a box, and the lid had the shapely holes that you're supposed to place shapes through.  Well Avery had removed the lid and started hitting me in the head with it.  All I could think to say was, "Silly Avery.  I'm not a square peg."  It was good for a laugh at the time, but it got me thinking. 
I'm NOT a square peg.
Now that's an obvious statement, and I'm sure you are equally aware of this fact.  But let me finish the story.  That same week, or maybe the week before, I'd gone through a period where I was questioning God's plans.  They weren't turning out like I thought they should.  I was telling God, "But this isn't right!  This isn't how things are supposed to go.  What do you think you're doing?  Why won't you listen to me?"  I thought I knew what God should do.  I thought I knew what was best, and I was sure to tell God.  But that afternoon, I got to thinking.  I'm no more going to fit through that square hole than I am going to fit into my plans like I think, unless they are also God's plans.  We can try to force ourselves through that hole, and we may get through it, but it's gonna hurt and we surely won't be in the shape we were before.  Just remember, God knows what shape peg we are.  Square peg, square hole.  Let him show you where you belong. 
PS.  We're all supposed to be a different shape.  You'll be happiest when you let God show you where you belong.  I promise.  I'm gonna try to be more regular with my postings.  Now that I'm done student teaching, that should help.  See y'all later!

"Give Him Something To Do"

A saw a movie some years ago called "The Flight of the Phoenix."  The remake, not the original.  The basic point of this movie is that a plane went down in the Gobi desert and the survivors of the crash had to try and rebuild the plane before they were attacked.  It had Dennis Quaid and Hugh Laurie before he was American.  There was a point in the movie before they decided to rebuild the plane that one of the characters was trying to argue for giving it a shot.  He wants to build the plane in order to give them hope, and he says, "If you can't give a man hope, give him something to do." 
I want you to think about this.  You've been at your place of business for about 17 years or so, and you've done a great job.  You start thinking about retiring one day down the road, but you're not ready and won't be for some time.  Well this new guy comes on and you're responsible for training him.  You spend a few years working with him in a supervisory position.  He does okay, but is still far less qualified than you. 
Now let's move this hypothetical down the line a little bit.  One day, your boss comes to you and says that you're going to have to give your job up to this other guy.  Now this would probably tick you off.  I know it would me.  They've already decided.  You're gonna be replaced, and there's nothing you can do about it.  In all of your attempts, they finally decide that they can afford to keep you at the company in a lesser position.  So you've still got a job, but it's not the one you had nor the one you believe yourself to be qualified for. 
Now imagine that your job is in the public arena and millions of people decide to pass judgement on your career decisions. 
By now, you've probably figured out what I'm talking about. 
The first thing you're probably asking yourself is, "What is he doing?  Adam never goes into debate on the lives and decisions of the celebrity few."  True.  I don't.  I personally hate the obsession with celebrities (unless their names are Christina Ricci or Jessica Alba).  The reason I even go into this issue at all is because I, as always, have a grander point to make.
We look back at the scenario I detailed a minute ago.  I understand that Jay Leno has made millions of dollars in his life, as has Conan.  This doesn't mean that he really wants to do nothing with his time.  I earnestly believe that mankind has an innate sense of productivity.  Look at the world we built.  There are great cities, monuments, art which exists for no other purpose than the artist to say, "Yep.  That's how I spent my summer break."  If a man has nothing else, give him something to do. 
This is true for any man of any income tax bracket.  Leno has a job that he loves, and he's been forced out of it.  Now, he's being forced out of a crappier job that he only kind of wanted, but he has the opportunity to get his old job back.  On the other hand, you've got a man who probaly wasn't ready for the job he was given with a choice to take his old job, go somewhere else, or do nothing for four years and receive an $80 million check. 
I won't pretend to know what these men should do, what they will do, or who's right to accept what positions.  I will, however, say that men are built with (mankind...I'm no sexist) this innate desire to create and to build and to work.  The problem with laziness is not often that people don't want to do anything, they just don't want to do what they have to do.
As far fetched as this sounds, let me offer you a more personal example.  From December 8th to about January 4th, I didn't have to do a darn thing.  There were times when I woke up really late into the day and would just stay up late at night playing games or doing whatever.  Now I may have enjoyed myself, but it didn't feel right.  The best I felt in that time was when I would sit down and write.  I knew that I was accomplishing something, and it was something I wanted to do. 
At the same time, I have been student teaching for the last two weeks now, and it's tough.  I have to get up at 5:30am (and I assure you, I've seen 5:30am from the other side more often than not) and go into a school where I spend my days in the same room for upwards of six hours, small recesses aside.  I can't even leave for lunch.  If you've worked with me before, you know how much I cherish the ability to move around and leave for lunch.  It's a hard environment for me to work in.  But even with this unfavorable environment, I have felt more able and more confident.  My life seems more organized and more favorable.  It helps that I have something to do.  It helps that I have an environment forcing me into productive habits.  True, the schedule has prevented me from writing as often as I would like, but I believe that the return to normal  working habits will prove fortunate when I do have more time to write.  I will actually work on it. 
I have something to do now, and that has forced my idle hands to get in motion.  I have an opportunity to do what I love, writing, and I have an opportunity to do it well.  Why would I let my lazy self ruin that?

Krypton, and the Meaning of "FOUR!"

For any of you who are familiar with Georgia Football, this title should strike a chord.  If not, let me explain.  At the beginning of every game, and start of the fourth quarter, the Redcoat Band strikes up a little number we borrowed from Superman called "Krypton."  As they do, every citizen of the Bulldog Nation reverently lifts their hands in an inspirational "FOUR" formation, sticking up every digit but the thumb.  This is to symbolize either the four quarters of football we've got left to play, or the beginning of the fourth and final chance to defeat your opponent, the fourth quarter (that is, excepting an overtime game). 
A few weeks ago was the final home-game of my fourth year at the University of Georgia.  It was possibly my last game between the hedges (as a student) and possibly the last time I would get to see the Dawgs, as a 6-6 season almost happened, and would've probably kept us from a bowl game, and I didn't have a ticket to see the Tech game.  So as the band plays Krypton to start the game, and once more at the start of the Fourth, I realized something. 
When I looked at my fingers and realized this was possibly my final Krypton in the student section of Sanford, it made me think about the last few years of my college career.  Had I accomplished all that I wanted to?  Had I seen all of the things that I planned on seeing?  Had I had the best impact I could on those around me?  In four years, what have I done, and what has been done through me? 
I say all of this to say that if you're a senior preparing for college, go into it with the intent of doing all that you can in those four years.  Hold up your four and realize, you only get so long to enjoy these opportunities.  Hold up your four and know that you only get this one shot to do it right. 
Or do you?
As you may know, we lost that last game in Sanford Stadium.  Kentucky pulled off two last-minute turnovers to keep us out of the endzone and to break our hearts, winning in Sanford Stadium for the first time in over thirty years.  Now I was devestated.  It just further enforced the feeling that I wasn't going out on the best note possible, either academically, spiritually, socially, or athletically.  It pretty much sucked, if you must know. 
Fast-forward about twelve hours short of a full week.  Skip past the walk home, the camping trip, the Thanksgiving meal, and all that.  Skip it.  Now pull on up to Saturday, Nov. 28, 2009, 12:30pm.  I'm woken up by Dad asking me if I want to go to the Tech game.  Now I'm pretty sure we're gonna get our tails handed to us, but I take the ticket that has been offered because I can't pass up a chance to see my Dawgs play.  So I hop in the car around 5pm and we head to Atlanta to watch the Dawgs and the Jackets embrace once more in the rivalry known as "Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate," or as we call it, "The Backyard Brawl with that Nerdy Cousin from Down the Street."  They play Krypton. 
I had my "FOUR" up, and there was no way I was going to let it go down in shame.
Then, to start the fourth quarter, we had done the impossible.  We took a three quarter lead against Tech into the fourth, and we were tasting blood.  As the band lifted their music up to the Bulldog Nation here and across the world, I once again looked up at my "FOUR."  This was a second chance.  I had been given a second chance to do what I could not before.  I was given a second chance to see the Dawgs end my (maybe) last season victoriously. 
However, this really would be my last chance.  Even though I will be in Shreveport for the bowl game, nothing really matters after beating Tech.  The point to all of this is simple.  First of all, you never really know how many chances you'll have to live it out as well as you can.  You may get a second chance, but there's no guarantee.  There's just no promise of that.  And college students, even though you can usually count on those four years to do your best and to make your impact, after graduation, that counter is gone, and every day needs a little "FOUR" added to it.  Every day should be your great, final moment.  Or at least you should treat it that way, knowing that you may well not get another one. 
I got a second chance to lift my four fingers in victory, but it was not a promise that I cashed in on.  It was a blessed gift from God, and I learned most valuably that I only have so many chances to do what I should.  Sometimes, that's only one chance.  That's all for now, as I am going to try once more to sleep.  Church in the "morning" is gonna come early.  Like, three and a half hours from now, early.  This'll be a short nap. 
Either way, I hope that this has meant something to you, as always, and I promise once more that there will be some new prose coming up soon.  Have a great one, and MERRY CHRISTMAS! 

PS.  In case you missed it, Georgia ended up winning that game.  And what was the final score, Josh?

30-24!

Almost Awesome

So me and two of three roommates went to a Gwinnett Gladiators game last Friday night.  First of all, this was a great story, so I'm gonna tell it right, and that means to tell it from the beginning...

Rylan and Josh met up with me at the house because I was already in town from my Nov. teaching.  They got there in time for us to hop in the car and go get Josh his ever coveted Burger King.  We're arriving at the arena a little late, and the traffic is horrendous, so we decide to put some music on.  My iPod has about 2600 songs, and the first song that came on in Shuffle mode was the Battle Theme from Gladiator, which some of you may know is a song that the Gladiators use in pre-game.  At that moment, I knew we were fated to see a great game.  It only got better.

About fifteen minutes before face-off, we get in line to buy tickets.  When I say we got in line, we jumped to the back of a train of people about three-hundred strong.  I mean, there was no way we'd get tickets for at least a good twenty minutes if.  About that time, a fortuitous woman stepped out in line and said, "I've got three free tickets!  Three free tickets!  Good seats, but you gotta sit together, so you better like each other."  Obviously, we took'em. 

Not only were these seats free, but they were about fifteen rows from the glass.  And since she gave them to us right after we got in line, we made it in time to see face-off and some of the pre-game.  Well, South Carolina scores early on what looked like a questionable goal.  They were very good at putting bodies in Danny Taylor's way (he's our goalie, and he's usually very good) so that he couldn't see the puck coming.  Even still, he held them to only that one goal in the first, with Gwinnett being shut-out in the first period.  There was no scoring at all in the second, so we went in to the third down a goal.  Danny had done a great job to keep us in the game. 

So it was the third period.  Rylan, Josh, and myself had already done Krypton to three fingers, and we were ready to see it happen.  It looked like the game would end at 1-0, because that was the score with about 6 minutes to go.  At this time, we knock a beautiful slap shot goal in from somewhere near the blue line.  It doesn't make any sense, but the Arean at Gwinnett erupts (I was pretty much the first person to stand up as I saw the puck go in fast).  We're tied 1-1 with six to go in the third! 

About a minute and thirty seconds later, SC scores.  Yeah, it was depressing.  It just trickled right past Danny and under his feet. 

So here we go again.  With about a minute to go, Gwinnett pulls Danny in order to go up on the advantage.  It's a fight up on the SC goal for a half-minute, but we sneak one in there.  GOOOOAL!  It's a great game to this point.  Well, Danny comes back in to finish up the game tied 2-2.  So we go to OT.  No score in OT. 

Now is the shoot-out. 

They go first and Danny blocks it.  We go next and score.  For a best of five series, we lead 1-0.  Their next man goes, and he just flat out misses it.  We go and score.  2-0.  They go again to make it a game, and it gets blocked.  We go again, and they actually block it.  Not hard, it was a terrible shot.  So it still stands 2-0.  That goal WOULD have ended the game at 3-0 with only two shots remaining.  At this point, though, SC MUST score both remaining goals to tie and keep the shoot-out going.  The man goes in with the hopes of his team at the end of the stick...and he misses.  Game over, we win, and the remaining crowd is ecstatic!  That being said, so were we.  This was by far the best hockey game I've ever seen, and even better, it was an amazing experience that served to finish up yet another in the string of great Friday the 13ths I've had and was a precursor to the great weekend that was to come.  In case you haven't heard, Georgia beat Auburn the next day, 31-24. 

But something that stood out to me was a near-miss somewhere in the 2nd period.  I remember it was the 2nd period because Gwinnett missed the break-away goal right in front of us, and we were on the "Attack Once" side of the arena.  I don't remember who, but one of our guys gets away from the defense and starts the break-away attack.  He only has to beat the goalie.  He's coming in.  The goalie's coming out.  They almost meet at half-way between the goal and the center line, when the goalie falls down.  As he's going down, our guy shoots a beautiful arcing shot right over him.  It's looking good.  It's looking on-target.  It is almost awesome.  The shot goes over the goal by a matter of inches and misses altogether. 

I got to thinking about that, how it was "almost awesome."  There's something to that.  It wasn't awesome, and it wasn't terrible, but it still wasn't what it could've been.  That has often been one of my fears, to end up being only "almost" there, or "almost" who I needed to be.  I don't want to be only "almost."  I want to make it where God is calling me to be as who God is calling me to be.  I mean, how many times do we take that shot only to miss by a few short inches?  Or worse, get scared and never take the shot in the first place?  How often does that happen to you?  How often would you rather arrive?  Yeah.  Me too.

PS.  I'm STILL working on that prose.  This student teaching stuff has got me SO stinking busy, but Thanksgiving break should provide some well-needed time to get stuff done.  I'm really looking forward to it.  See y'all soon, I hope!

To Number the Stars

As many of you know, I am an English/English Ed. major at the University of Georgia.  That means I am a college student.  That means I have no money.  The English Ed. part means I have no job, because there just wouldn't be time for one.  It also means that I have to drive a decent distance twice a week to a school for observation/teaching experiences. 
This morning, I woke up and had some time to spare, so I looked over Genesis 15.  One of my mentor's and I are going through the life of Abraham one chapter at a time.  This is a crucial moment in his life, and it's a story that I love to tell, so I was pretty excited that this week was the Gen. 15 week.  Let me share with you a small glimpse of what's going on here. 
Abraham is talking to God about how he has no heirs and how he doesn't know how to handle this situation.  He deals with God and the promise of a son.  Well, God puts on a little show for Abraham.  Mind you, this show is a show of God's power and promise to Abraham.  There is an old ritual where men would take sacrifices and cut them down the middle.  They would then spread the sacrifices in two rows and walk between them with someone that they were making a covenant with.  In this case, after Abraham sets up the rows, he is lulled to sleep (by God).  He then wakes to see God passing through the line in the form of a boiling kettle and a flaming torch.  I personally believe this to be a represenation of the Father and the Son together, but either way.  What we do see here is that God, knowing Abraham himself cannot keep the human's end of the bargain, makes a one-sided covenant with man.  Specifically, he promises Abraham an heir.  Generally, God promises mankind salvation.  Now I say it's a one-sided covenant, but the Hebrew people did have a part to play and a burden to keep up, but God knew that their imperfection (and our own) prevented them from making a perfect covenant with God. 
But that's not the important part I wanted to share with you.  It's great, and it's cool, but it has nothing on what happened today.  Before this, God looks down to Abraham (still called Abram, I think I should add) and says, "'Look now toward heaven, and count the stars if you are able to number them.' And He said to him, 'So shall your descendents be.'" (Taken from Gen. 15:5, NKJV)  God displays his promise to Abram with a very visual and permanent sign; the stars in the sky.
This morning, as I was driving to my placement school, I realized that I was low on gas.  Like, less gas than I usually require to just get home, much less past that to the school.  I began praying that God would get me home and let me gas up so that I may make it to the school on time.  This was my prayer for the entire drive down 316.  Right before I turned on to Hwy 81, my gas light came on.  I took this as a sign that I HAD to go home and get gas money, because there was no telling whether or not I would make it to the school and back without gas.  So I went home and picked up some gas money that had been previously left for me.  My family has been kind enough to support me while I go to school without a job. 
Well as I locked up the car and walked inside to get the money, I looked up.  The streetlight that usually overtakes the sky was out of commission this morning, so I could see the stars as clear as pinholes in a blanket, each one unique and small, yet in reality so great that I would not be a percent of a nuisance to it.  The reality of this did not hit me immediately, but a few minutes later when I started the car to leave, but I was reminded of God's promise in this moment.  Not just the promise to bring Abram an heir, but I was reminded of my simple prayer to get home so I could go without being stranded.  I remembered that prayer and God's promise to watch out for me, and us as a people.  I remembered that prayer, and God spoke to me once again through those stars. 
He constantly seeks to remind us that He is there and that He watches over us.  Without Him, we would be lost.  But with Him, He provides, and He wants us to know it.  If you attempt to number the stars, remember God's promise, and the power of that promise, that we cannot fathom His desires for us. 

PS.  I have been really busy lately, so the fiction writing is coming pretty slow.  Hopefully I can get some stuff done during Thanksgiving break, because starting in January, I'm gonna be pretty non-stop until mid-March or later.  I need to get some of these things finished.  The only reason I wrote this tonight was because I felt like I really needed to.  Goodnight, y'all!